{"id":4007,"date":"2025-12-19T19:04:06","date_gmt":"2025-12-19T19:04:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bilgitarif.com\/iyi\/?p=4007"},"modified":"2025-12-19T19:04:24","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T19:04:24","slug":"dogum-yaptigimda-en-zor-kismin-bittigini-saniyordum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bilgitarif.com\/iyi\/dogum-yaptigimda-en-zor-kismin-bittigini-saniyordum\/","title":{"rendered":"Do\u011fum yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda en zor k\u0131sm\u0131n bitti\u011fini san\u0131yordum"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Do\u011fumun ard\u0131ndan en zor k\u0131sm\u0131n bitti\u011fini<\/strong> san\u0131yordum; kuca\u011f\u0131mda minicik Zambak (Nil) ve bir avu\u00e7 umut vard\u0131. \u00dc\u00e7 g\u00fcn sonra Murat<\/strong>, g\u00f6zleri ya\u015fl\u0131, hastane odama gelip hi\u00e7 beklemedi\u011fim o iste\u011fi dile getirdi: \u201cDo\u011fumdan \u00f6nce DNA testi yapal\u0131m.\u201d<\/strong> O an anlad\u0131m ki bu sadece bir \u015f\u00fcphe de\u011fil, evlili\u011fimizin tamamen \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcn<\/strong> ilan\u0131yd\u0131. Bo\u015fanma davas\u0131<\/strong> notunu masaya b\u0131rak\u0131rken, hayat\u0131m\u0131 \u2014 ve bebe\u011fimin gelece\u011fini \u2014 yeniden kurmak zorunda kald\u0131m.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

1) Ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7: Bir lise a\u015fk\u0131n\u0131n eri\u015fti\u011fi umut<\/h3>\n

Ben Hande<\/strong>, 33 ya\u015f\u0131nday\u0131m. Murat\u2019la lise s\u0131ralar\u0131ndan beri beraberdik; k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck, sakin bir hayat kurduk. \u00c7ocuk sahibi olma m\u00fccadelesi<\/strong> y\u0131llar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 yordu: hormon i\u011fneleri, g\u00f6zya\u015fl\u0131 geceler, umutla kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k k\u0131r\u0131lgan sevin\u00e7ler\u2026 O silik ikinci \u00e7izgi<\/strong> g\u00f6r\u00fcnene kadar vazge\u00e7meyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyordum. O g\u00fcn, Murat kula\u011f\u0131ma f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131: \u201cBa\u015fard\u0131k can\u0131m.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

2) Hamilelik ve sonra gelen so\u011fuma<\/h3>\n

Bebek odas\u0131n\u0131 haz\u0131rlad\u0131k, isimleri tart\u0131\u015ft\u0131k, o minicik tulumlar\u0131 katlad\u0131k. Ama hamileli\u011fin ilerleyen haftalar\u0131nda Murat de\u011fi\u015fmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Eve ge\u00e7 gelmeler, i\u00e7ki ve sigara kokular\u0131<\/strong>, avu\u00e7 i\u00e7i kadar ilgisizlik\u2026 Gece yan yana otururken eli karn\u0131ma uzanmayan bir adamla ayn\u0131 evde nefes almak zorla\u015ft\u0131. \u0130\u00e7imde bir \u015feyler \u00e7at\u0131rd\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n

3) O gece ve \u201cDNA\u201d kelimesinin etkisi<\/h3>\n
    \n
  1. \n

    haftada, bir ma\u00e7 bahanesiyle arkada\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 eve davet etti. Gece yar\u0131s\u0131 kap\u0131mda beliren o so\u011fuk c\u00fcmle \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131: \u201cOnun ger\u00e7ekten benden oldu\u011fundan emin olmak istiyorum \u2014 do\u011fumdan \u00f6nce DNA testi.\u201d<\/strong> O s\u00f6z, d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcn tam ortas\u0131ndaki i\u011fne gibiydi. G\u00fcven<\/strong> bir anda \u00f6ld\u00fc; yerine \u015f\u00fcphe<\/strong>, utan\u00e7<\/strong> ve tarifsiz bir ac\u0131 geldi.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    4) Karar: S\u0131n\u0131r koymak ve terk etmek<\/h3>\n

    O gece onunla y\u00fczle\u015ftim. \u201cE\u011fer bebe\u011fin ger\u00e7ekten senden olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnecek kadar benden uzaksan, birlikte olmamal\u0131y\u0131z,\u201d dedim. Ertesi sabah, bo\u015fanma davas\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131yorum<\/strong> notunu b\u0131rakt\u0131m. Ablam Selin\u2019in yan\u0131na ta\u015f\u0131nd\u0131m; \u00fc\u00e7 hafta boyunca a\u011flad\u0131m, toparland\u0131m, haz\u0131rlad\u0131m kendimi. Alyans\u0131m\u0131 mutfak masas\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131m. Bu bir k\u0131r\u0131lma ama ayn\u0131 zamanda kendi onurumu geri alma karar\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n

    5) Do\u011fum: Mucize ve yeni isim<\/h3>\n

    Saatler s\u00fcren bir do\u011fumun ard\u0131ndan kuca\u011f\u0131ma k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck bir hayat verildi. Ona Zambak<\/strong> ismini koydum \u2014 annemin bah\u00e7esindeki en sevdi\u011fim \u00e7i\u00e7ek. G\u00f6zleri masmaviyd\u0131; Murat\u2019\u0131nkilerle benzer ama art\u0131k bunun bir \u00f6neminin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 biliyordum. Zambak (Nil), benim karar\u0131m\u0131n, yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n ve hayatta kalma irademin simgesiydi.<\/p>\n

    6) Kap\u0131 \u00e7al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131nda: Murat geri d\u00f6nd\u00fc<\/h3>\n

    Do\u011fumdan \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn sonra, Nil\u2019i (Zambak\u2019\u0131)<\/strong> emzirirken kap\u0131 \u00e7ald\u0131. Gelen Murat\u2019t\u0131: da\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f, g\u00f6zleri dolu. \u0130stedi\u011fi \u015feyler, \u00f6z\u00fcrler ya da telafi de\u011fildi sadece \u2014 anla\u015f\u0131lmak, emin olmak<\/strong> gibiydi. \u0130\u00e7imde ne \u00f6fke kald\u0131 ne sevgi; sadece derin bir bo\u015fluk vard\u0131. O an\u0131n en g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc duygusu s\u0131n\u0131r koyman\u0131n<\/strong> verdi\u011fi netlikti.<\/p>\n

    7) Yeni hayat\u0131n ilk ad\u0131mlar\u0131 \u2014 S\u0131n\u0131r, g\u00fc\u00e7, gelecek<\/h3>\n

    Murat\u2019\u0131n d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyle ba\u015flayan konu\u015fma k\u0131sald\u0131. O pi\u015fmanl\u0131k g\u00f6sterdi; ben ise \u00e7ocu\u011fun ve kendi onurumun<\/strong> g\u00fcvenli\u011fini \u00f6nceliklendirdim. Hukuki yollar\u0131m\u0131 ba\u015flatt\u0131m, ablam\u0131n ve avukat\u0131m\u0131n deste\u011fiyle ya\u015fam\u0131m\u0131 yeniden in\u015fa ettim. Bebekle yaln\u0131z kalmak zordu ama \u00f6zg\u00fcrd\u00fc<\/strong> \u2014 kendi \u015fartlar\u0131mla, kendi kurallar\u0131mla bir aile kurmak beni g\u00fc\u00e7lendirdi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Do\u011fumun ard\u0131ndan en zor k\u0131sm\u0131n bitti\u011fini san\u0131yordum; kuca\u011f\u0131mda minicik Zambak (Nil) ve bir avu\u00e7 umut vard\u0131. \u00dc\u00e7 g\u00fcn sonra Murat, g\u00f6zleri ya\u015fl\u0131, hastane odama gelip […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4009,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[157,156,159,158],"class_list":["post-4007","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-bosanma-karari","tag-dna-testi-iddiasi","tag-dogum-hikayesi","tag-yalniz-anne"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bilgitarif.com\/iyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4007","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bilgitarif.com\/iyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bilgitarif.com\/iyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bilgitarif.com\/iyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bilgitarif.com\/iyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4007"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.bilgitarif.com\/iyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4007\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4011,"href":"https:\/\/www.bilgitarif.com\/iyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4007\/revisions\/4011"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bilgitarif.com\/iyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4009"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bilgitarif.com\/iyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4007"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bilgitarif.com\/iyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4007"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bilgitarif.com\/iyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4007"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}